Christopher

BEFORE:

I was leading on a high value project at work and it ended in disaster. The project failed and as a result, the company I worked for lost a lot of money. I felt devastated and defeated. I started to question my skills, my experience, my judgement and my confidence. I’ve tried to overcome this put on a brave face but I wasn’t able to get back to my normal self.

I had a constant low mood, no motivation. I felt like a total failure. I thought I passed my sell-by date and was of no value.

I lost a lot of trust and credibility. My relationships at home suffered as well. I isolated myself from my family and friends.

I felt angry inside. I felt misunderstood. I suffered with angry outbursts. I couldn’t contain my emotions. I was all over the place.

After two years, I was to attend my first disciplinary meeting due to poor performance.

It was suggested to me that I seek help. I went to see the GP several times because my health started to deteriorate. One day, my wife handed me a business card and that’s how I found out about Dorothy.

DURING:

It was a relief to speak to someone. In my first meeting I kept talking and talking. I brought dates, notes from conversations, emails, signed decisions, finance spreadsheet. I wanted someone to hear my story and trust my version of events. I was not trying to ditch responsibility on someone else but I wanted to explain and to be heard.

I think this was the first time since the failure of the project, I felt I was listened to. It was comforting. It was a good feeling. Something inside me switched on again.

I have never had any counselling, therapy, coaching. Nothing like that! But, I was very surprised how helpful the sessions were and how quickly it started to have positive impact on my work and life. It was like taking a U-turn!

Our conversations, showed me what was really happening inside my head and how this was impacting on how I was feeling. We unpicked everything one by one … low confidence, low motivation, low mood, my lack of energy, my fear that failure could happen again, my outbursts of anger, my withdrawing from colleagues, friends and family.

Throughout the process the parts of me that I thought disappeared or passed the sell-by date, started to come back… my sense of humour, my creativity, my motivation. My leadership… my willingness to have another go. I started to feel I was ready to take on projects again.

I started to cycle to work. I lost weight. I started to eat better.

My relationships at work started to improve. Some people who were involved in the project moved on and new people come on board. It felt like it was the right time to step fully into my role and try to regain my credibility.

I didn’t want to change jobs. I wanted to stay and rebuild what I’d lost. I wanted to show my value and feel that others can put their full trust in me again.

My relationship with my wife started to improve too. I think the sessions, helped me to open up and be better at expressing what was happening to me. Instead of isolating myself, I started to talk more.

The whole process was hugely helpful and impactful. I have my life back.

AFTER:

The whole experience has been helpful, impactful and healing.

I feel like a different person now. The person who is much wiser and much stronger. I am much more understanding of myself and others. I am more likely to ask for help. I don’t feel I need to prove myself all the time. I am humbler. I feel I am a fuller human…

I have learned how my emotional compass works and it is so helpful!

I feel like the whole process helped me to connected with the ‘younger me’! I don’t think I have passed the sell-by date. I have lots to offer. I have lots to look forward to.

I feel like I can grab life by its horns again. Bring it on!

IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING COACHING:

It begins with a conversation
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