Monica

monica-1

BEFORE:

I was very anxious. I felt nervous and stressed all the time. I couldn’t relax. I felt self-conscious and had no confidence. I was full of self-doubt and even some of my friends said … I was becoming paranoid!

My anxiety was especially overwhelming at work. I was constantly feeling that I was not good enough, not capable to deal with my tasks. It was having a huge impact on my performance and on my relationship with my manager.

I stopped wanting to go to work. This started to take over my personal life too and I was becoming distant from people and started doing fewer social activities. My performance at work became so bad that colleagues started to notice… It made me feel terrible!

DURING:

It was such a good space to get things off my chest and discus my problems. It felt so good to be able to tell someone about what has been happening for me. I remember I just wanted to talk and talk… I wanted to tell everything and I felt safe to do so without censorship. I felt safe, trusted and understood. It was very comforting to be listened to and to know that I was not alone.

It taught me a different way of thinking about anxiety and I found it extremely useful.

I thought that my work was a major cause of my anxiety … and then I realised that my thinking about work was a major cause of my anxiety. And that’s a big difference!

I started to notice that my anxious feeling fluctuates and it reflects fluctuations in my thinking … and I didn’t have to do anything about it! I also noticed that my anxious feeling always eventually passes and a calmer mental state always returns. This was such an important breakthrough for me. It helped me not to be scared by my anxiety … because I realised that it was just like a wave washing through me … and I started to notice more and more moments when I felt calm and relaxed.

The key thing was learning that I didn’t have to give in to this anxious feeling. It was just a feeling! It didn’t have to stop me. I started to become more confident and taking more risks. I started to speak out in meetings… at the beginning I still felt anxious but somehow, I still did it.

I also started to open up to people and most of my colleagues shared with me that they also feel anxious when speaking in meetings.

AFTER:

I generally feel happier, calmer and more relaxed at work and in my personal life, which is great.

My confidence returned and I don’t pay nearly as much attention to my ‘not good enough’ thinking! I take more risks at work. I say – YES – to projects that I want to do. I try my best. I ask for help.

My productivity and quality of my work improved. My manager noticed that too. This makes me very happy.

I started to go out more and enjoy meeting new people. I am more open and honest with people.

I still feel anxious from time to time. The difference is that I it is not as overwhelming as it was. Also, I don’t think I have to become ‘anxiety-free’. Somehow, I don’t think it’s necessary and even possible. I and am not scared of my anxiety. I now know that mental clarity will always find me.

IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING COACHING:

Don’t waste your time! Just go for it! It is liberating and will help you to feel good about yourself again!