01 Apr You are love, You are freedom
It was my last day in Goa. I had been soaking up the sun, breathing hot air infused with fragrant Indian spices and strolling hand in hand with my boyfriend in the narrow streets of Panaji, Goa’s capital, with a feeling of carefree abandon.
We stopped for a curry and a cold bottle of Limca. It was delicious and refreshing.
When we sat down for a little siesta on the banks of the Mandovi river, watching the passing ships loaded with iron ore, I closed my eyes and realised that dreams do come true.
I had always wanted to come here.
The sun began to disappear below the horizon and it was time to go back and pack. I didn’t want to leave. Strangely, this exotic place felt like home. I wanted something to help me remember this precious moment, something to bring me back. I needed a keepsake.
On the way back to the hotel, we walked past a shabby second-hand bookshop. Quiet, atmospheric Indian music lured us in.
It looked like an odd temple of wisdom forgotten by time. Dust danced around in the air and there was a musty smell of old books. And then I found it! I found my keepsake! I knew it straight away – there it was: ‘The Goose is Out’ by Osho.
I hadn’t heard of Osho before but it seemed pretty cool to complete my trip by reading about meditation, transcendence and enlightenment. I always knew I was a hippie at heart. So I bought it.
I opened the book as the plane was taking off and had finished reading it by the time the captain announced we were landing. I couldn’t put it down. I was all in. I remember bursting into uncontrollable, loud, full-belly laughter several times. People were looking at me – concerned, as if I was a nuisance. My boyfriend kept asking if I was OK. Gosh! I was! I just couldn’t stop laughing. I wanted to explain everything to him in one breath but he didn’t seem to get it.
And then tears ran down my face. I didn’t know why because in many ways I didn’t quite understand what Osho was talking about…
But I knew had fallen in love.
The book ends like this:
“This is the most difficult thing for humanity to accept. Hence, so much opposition to me – because I am telling you that you are gods, that you are buddhas, that there is no other God than you. That is the most difficult thing to accept.
You would like to be a sinner, you would like to be guilty, you would like to be thrown into hell; but you cannot accept that you are a buddha, an awakened one, because then all problems are solved. And when problems are solved, you start disappearing. And to disappear into the whole is the only thing of worth, is the only thing of any significance.
What I am telling you is not a teaching. This place is a device – this is a buddha-field.
I have to take away things that you don’t have, and I have to give you things that you already have. You need not be grateful to me at all because I am not giving you anything new. I am simply helping you to remember. You have forgotten the language of your being.
I have come to recognise it: I have remembered myself. And since the day I remembered myself, I have been in a strange situation: I feel compassion for you, and deep down I also giggle at you, because you are not really in trouble. You don’t need compassion. You need hammering! You need to be hit hard on the head! Your suffering is bogus. Ecstasy is your very nature.
You are truth.
You are love.
You are bliss.
You are freedom.
Enough for today.”
With Love and Laughter
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